Here are some quick tips to improve your Self Confidence. If we are committed to have a healthy self confidence there are many things you can do every day to boost your self confidence, each small steps that will help you to reach your goal. The good news is that self-esteem is not fixed and can be improved, try some of the steps below to boost your confidence and self-esteem.
1) Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.
2) Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.
3) Exercise and eat healthy. Exercise raises adrenaline and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.
4) Turn feelings of envy or jealousy into a desire to achieve. Stop wanting what others have just because they have it; seek things simply because you want them, whether anybody else has them or not.
5) When you're feeling superbly insecure, write down a list of things that are good about you. Then read the list back. You'd be surprised at what you can come up with.
6) Don't be afraid to push yourself a bit - a little bit of pressure can actually show just how good you are!
7) You can try taking a martial arts or fitness class/course (or both). This will help build confidence and strength.
Invest in some new clothing and donate some of your old clothing to send a message to yourself that you both look sharp and feel sharp.
9) Try to make yourself talk positively at all times. When you hear yourself saying you can't do something, stop and say you can. Unless you try, you will never know whether you are able to or not.
10) Don't get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points; they can contrast your good points or even give you something to improve. There's no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.
11) Don't confuse what you have with who you are. People degrade their self worth when comparing possessions.
12) Surround yourself with nurturing friends, not overly critical individuals who make you feel inadequate or insecure. This could do great harm and damage to your self confidence.
Friday, April 29, 2011
How Not to Take Things to Heart
Any interaction with another person, whether it is with your boss, a customer, your father or your friend has the opportunity to lead to hurt or irritation. Some people get hurt more easily than others. They can be particularly sensitive and take things to heart. Here are some tips to help you stop taking things personally so you can leave your interactions in a happier way.
1. Know why you are hurting.
Know why you are hurting and respond accordingly. Are you hurting because of something that has happened in your history? Are you adding your history to the present moment and therefore adding fuel to something small and making it appear bigger? For example, if your mother has looked at you in a certain way since childhood and she's looked at you in the same way today - do you react because of the way she looked today or the way she looked at you as a child? If it's the latter, try reacting as if this was the first time you'd ever seen the look!
2. Laugh and make light of it.
Laughter can be a wonderful cure and reliever. If you can keep light about a potential put-down then the put-down has no power. This doesn't mean that you leave yourself open to abuse. What it does mean is that you can more easily brush off potentially hurtful comments.
3. Tell someone else about what was said and turn it into a funny story.
Tell someone else what has happened and tell it in a way that makes it funny. Do a caricature - exaggerate what was said - think of a funny line back ... build it up until it's funny - this will help the hurt to dissipate.
4. Delay your response.
Many people retaliate very quickly before they've even had time to think through what has been said. It's a bit like someone throwing something at you. Would you just stand there and let it hurt you or would you duck? Delaying is like ducking. Pause before you respond.. Then you give yourself time to think of a good response and to check that you're not adding hurt to what was said.
5. Think of the other person as being "unskilled".
Think of the other person as being "unskilled" rather than being "intimidating", "bossy" or "aggressive". I'll often say to myself, "Well that was an unskilled way of saying things, I wonder what she meant?" This helps me keep calm and non-reactive, yet still available to help the person.
6. Separate out what is specific to you.
Sometimes people respond to a general complaint as if it is personally directed at them. Don't do this. Work out what is specifically about you and what is a general complaint that you happen to get because you were in the same place as the other person? When it's not specific to you, remind yourself of this, e.g. you might say to yourself, "This is about the company," or "He has obviously got a bad headache."
7. Monitor for sites of tension build up and let go before they develop.
Monitor for sites of tension build up and let go before they develop. Each of us will have physiological changes which occur early on in the process of becoming hurt. If you can catch your stomach tightening, your neck tightening or your hands grasping, early on, you have more chance of letting go and not hooking into the other person's comments or emotions. Someone in one of our workshops recently discovered she started clicking her nails as a sign that she was hooking in. What are your signs?
8. Keep breathing.
Keep breathing in and out. No, I'm not joking! Some people hear something unpleasant and catch their breath and then don't let go of it. You're more likely to take something personally if you aren't breathing!
9. Breathe deeply.
Breathe deeply so your breathing remains calm, regular and deep. Even in a meeting it's possible to put your hand on your midriff to give yourself a physical reminder to keep your breathing deep and regular. If your breathing speeds up and becomes shallow it could be a sign that you are getting hooked in.
10. Don't read criticism into something that's not intended as criticism.
Don't read in something that wasn't there. It's easy to try and "read between the lines" and imagine what someone meant or what they were implying and then to react as though your interpretation is true. It may not be. Someone, for example, may have crossed his arms to stop his shoulders aching not because he didn't like what you said! Someone may be whispering to someone else as you walk in the room and you may assume they are talking about you. In fact they may be talking about their latest sexual exploits with their new boyfriends.
By not getting hurt and looking after yourself, you increase your chances of staying healthy and having even more caring to give to others.
1. Know why you are hurting.
Know why you are hurting and respond accordingly. Are you hurting because of something that has happened in your history? Are you adding your history to the present moment and therefore adding fuel to something small and making it appear bigger? For example, if your mother has looked at you in a certain way since childhood and she's looked at you in the same way today - do you react because of the way she looked today or the way she looked at you as a child? If it's the latter, try reacting as if this was the first time you'd ever seen the look!
2. Laugh and make light of it.
Laughter can be a wonderful cure and reliever. If you can keep light about a potential put-down then the put-down has no power. This doesn't mean that you leave yourself open to abuse. What it does mean is that you can more easily brush off potentially hurtful comments.
3. Tell someone else about what was said and turn it into a funny story.
Tell someone else what has happened and tell it in a way that makes it funny. Do a caricature - exaggerate what was said - think of a funny line back ... build it up until it's funny - this will help the hurt to dissipate.
4. Delay your response.
Many people retaliate very quickly before they've even had time to think through what has been said. It's a bit like someone throwing something at you. Would you just stand there and let it hurt you or would you duck? Delaying is like ducking. Pause before you respond.. Then you give yourself time to think of a good response and to check that you're not adding hurt to what was said.
5. Think of the other person as being "unskilled".
Think of the other person as being "unskilled" rather than being "intimidating", "bossy" or "aggressive". I'll often say to myself, "Well that was an unskilled way of saying things, I wonder what she meant?" This helps me keep calm and non-reactive, yet still available to help the person.
6. Separate out what is specific to you.
Sometimes people respond to a general complaint as if it is personally directed at them. Don't do this. Work out what is specifically about you and what is a general complaint that you happen to get because you were in the same place as the other person? When it's not specific to you, remind yourself of this, e.g. you might say to yourself, "This is about the company," or "He has obviously got a bad headache."
7. Monitor for sites of tension build up and let go before they develop.
Monitor for sites of tension build up and let go before they develop. Each of us will have physiological changes which occur early on in the process of becoming hurt. If you can catch your stomach tightening, your neck tightening or your hands grasping, early on, you have more chance of letting go and not hooking into the other person's comments or emotions. Someone in one of our workshops recently discovered she started clicking her nails as a sign that she was hooking in. What are your signs?
8. Keep breathing.
Keep breathing in and out. No, I'm not joking! Some people hear something unpleasant and catch their breath and then don't let go of it. You're more likely to take something personally if you aren't breathing!
9. Breathe deeply.
Breathe deeply so your breathing remains calm, regular and deep. Even in a meeting it's possible to put your hand on your midriff to give yourself a physical reminder to keep your breathing deep and regular. If your breathing speeds up and becomes shallow it could be a sign that you are getting hooked in.
10. Don't read criticism into something that's not intended as criticism.
Don't read in something that wasn't there. It's easy to try and "read between the lines" and imagine what someone meant or what they were implying and then to react as though your interpretation is true. It may not be. Someone, for example, may have crossed his arms to stop his shoulders aching not because he didn't like what you said! Someone may be whispering to someone else as you walk in the room and you may assume they are talking about you. In fact they may be talking about their latest sexual exploits with their new boyfriends.
By not getting hurt and looking after yourself, you increase your chances of staying healthy and having even more caring to give to others.
Who is the BOSS ?
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the ass hole spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the ass hole being the Boss. So the ass hole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the ass hole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be Boss, any ass hole will do!
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the ass hole spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the ass hole being the Boss. So the ass hole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the ass hole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be Boss, any ass hole will do!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
10 things about Good Bosses
1. Praise the staff in public, correct them in private
Good bosses know it very well that praising and encouraging the staff is the key to have a positive atmosphere within the office and it helps to bring the best in them. If someone does something well, a good boss should recognize them for their efforts. People need to know when they are doing well and that they are appreciated. However, if someone is not doing so well, speak to them privately, instead of calling them out in front of a group.
2. Pay people what they are worth
While paying your staff, don't think you are losing in extra expense. Pay your staff what they're worth. While determining annual bonuses or profit-sharing for all employees, keep in mind that if you are paying them extra, you'll certainly gain in performance.
3. Allot responsibilities, not tasks
In order to attain professional growth, it is very important for the bosses that they give their employees responsibilities and not tasks. Dumping tasks on workers can never boost productivity. Bosses should always make sure that they hold people accountable.
4. Push, but back off
Sometimes employees want to be challenged to do their best, and if they like their work, they will strive to give that. Good bosses always keep in mind that. Therefore, like an ideal coach, the bosses should know when to push and when to back off in order to draw out the best from the team.
5. Empower the staff to take vital decisions
If the boss has done well in training his staff, he must have firm belief in them that they are doing their best to act in the company's interest. What if they make a wrong decision? Not a big deal. Don't shout at them. Instead, take it as yet another training opportunity. Listen to their reasons and figure out the flaws.
6. Share experiences and insights
Sharing experiences and giving insights is the best way a boss can make his employees learn. To be frank, they don't need a friend. What they need is a mentor who can teach them the best ways and at the same time shows enough generosity to share his own experiences.
7. Build team spirit
In any organization a good team spirit is always important for better performance. A great team can always do better than great individuals. Bosses should take suitable steps as to create and strengthen the team spirit among the employees.
8. Treat employees as they deserve
All employees should be respected and valued. But treating each and everyone as equals with same respect is not the right thing to do. Being a good boss, you should keep in mind that an employee must earn the respect he or she wants to be treated with.
9. Be open-minded and an effective listener
Someone in the team may come up with a new and different way of looking at a problem. You may not agree with that new idea, but first listen to that and make your people know that you are willing to hear out a new point of view. It will make people more responsible by making them feel that they are contributing to the project.
10. Don't play favourites
Human beings always like somebody better than others. It's natural. But this favouritism should not have any place in the office. Being a good boss, you should find common ground with every employee, regardless of employees' hometowns, ages or ethnicities.
Good bosses know it very well that praising and encouraging the staff is the key to have a positive atmosphere within the office and it helps to bring the best in them. If someone does something well, a good boss should recognize them for their efforts. People need to know when they are doing well and that they are appreciated. However, if someone is not doing so well, speak to them privately, instead of calling them out in front of a group.
2. Pay people what they are worth
While paying your staff, don't think you are losing in extra expense. Pay your staff what they're worth. While determining annual bonuses or profit-sharing for all employees, keep in mind that if you are paying them extra, you'll certainly gain in performance.
3. Allot responsibilities, not tasks
In order to attain professional growth, it is very important for the bosses that they give their employees responsibilities and not tasks. Dumping tasks on workers can never boost productivity. Bosses should always make sure that they hold people accountable.
4. Push, but back off
Sometimes employees want to be challenged to do their best, and if they like their work, they will strive to give that. Good bosses always keep in mind that. Therefore, like an ideal coach, the bosses should know when to push and when to back off in order to draw out the best from the team.
5. Empower the staff to take vital decisions
If the boss has done well in training his staff, he must have firm belief in them that they are doing their best to act in the company's interest. What if they make a wrong decision? Not a big deal. Don't shout at them. Instead, take it as yet another training opportunity. Listen to their reasons and figure out the flaws.
6. Share experiences and insights
Sharing experiences and giving insights is the best way a boss can make his employees learn. To be frank, they don't need a friend. What they need is a mentor who can teach them the best ways and at the same time shows enough generosity to share his own experiences.
7. Build team spirit
In any organization a good team spirit is always important for better performance. A great team can always do better than great individuals. Bosses should take suitable steps as to create and strengthen the team spirit among the employees.
8. Treat employees as they deserve
All employees should be respected and valued. But treating each and everyone as equals with same respect is not the right thing to do. Being a good boss, you should keep in mind that an employee must earn the respect he or she wants to be treated with.
9. Be open-minded and an effective listener
Someone in the team may come up with a new and different way of looking at a problem. You may not agree with that new idea, but first listen to that and make your people know that you are willing to hear out a new point of view. It will make people more responsible by making them feel that they are contributing to the project.
10. Don't play favourites
Human beings always like somebody better than others. It's natural. But this favouritism should not have any place in the office. Being a good boss, you should find common ground with every employee, regardless of employees' hometowns, ages or ethnicities.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
7 Ways To Make A Good Impression
Impressions are important: They leave an initial taste in people's mouths that can remain prevalent for the entire relationship. If you are paranoid about what kind of impression you make, run through these seven list items and see if you are consistent with them; if you are, then you will probably expose the best of yourself. If not, then work to meet these standards.
1. Dress: The absolute first impression you will make on someone will be through your clothing, because that is what is seen from a distance, and cannot change throughout your meeting. Make sure to dress according to the situation-don't over or under dress-and maintain within the limits of good taste. If you aren't sure if what you're wearing looks good, ask people for an honest opinion. One last thought: always, and I mean always, pull up your pants
2. Hygiene: Take a shower! Shave! Brush your teeth! You must be fully bathed and groomed before you meet with someone for the first time, because scruffy looking people generally don't seem as neat and mature. Pay attention to the little elements like breath: keep a pack of mint gum with you wherever you go, and periodically check to make sure you aren't killing bugs every time you breathe out. If you sweat heavily, keep a small stick of deodorant/anti-perspirant close, and if you notice you're stinking you can freshen up. People notice the minutiae!
3. Manners: At the table and with other people be civilized, polite and respectful: keep your elbows off of the table, open doors for people and address everyone-initially, at least-by their formal title. This will make an especially good impression on senior citizens, because you will prove that you aren't one of those "new fangled punks."
4. Speech: Have clean, clear diction and speak sans "like" or "you know." It is important to be articulate because that inspires a feeling of intelligence and education in the person you are meeting with. Always leave out profanity, and whatever you do, make sure to speak loud enough for all to hear, because conversationalists are easily agitated if you force them say "excuse me?" more than a few times.
5. Discretion: Choose what to share about yourself: forget to tell everyone about that time you went camping and ruptured your appendix, then fell face first into a pile of bug infested leaves-it is rude and will alienate you from the group. Try to withhold from conversations on personal subjects like religion or more disgusting topics like personal medical care. Before you speak, think about the possible impact of what you might say, then imagine its implications in the long run.
6. Humor: Humor can be your most powerful tool or your doom, because everyone has a slightly different sense of humor. What might be hilarious to you might seem disgusting to another, or vice versa. Try to withhold from any jokes that aren't family or dinner table friendly; you can tell those later.
7. Start and End with a Bang: Whoever you are meeting with will remember how you greet them, and then in what manner you left them. If you feel you have trouble with this, practice a few different phrases in the mirror, and introduce elements like: "pleased to meet you," or "honored to make your acquaintance." Ignore the antiquity of these phrases; it often makes them more memorable.
Making a good impression will set any relationship off on a good foot. If you are in a situation where you need to be judged at face value-such as a job interview or date-then make sure to go through this list and make sure you are within bounds of reason and good taste on all of your decisions.
1. Dress: The absolute first impression you will make on someone will be through your clothing, because that is what is seen from a distance, and cannot change throughout your meeting. Make sure to dress according to the situation-don't over or under dress-and maintain within the limits of good taste. If you aren't sure if what you're wearing looks good, ask people for an honest opinion. One last thought: always, and I mean always, pull up your pants
2. Hygiene: Take a shower! Shave! Brush your teeth! You must be fully bathed and groomed before you meet with someone for the first time, because scruffy looking people generally don't seem as neat and mature. Pay attention to the little elements like breath: keep a pack of mint gum with you wherever you go, and periodically check to make sure you aren't killing bugs every time you breathe out. If you sweat heavily, keep a small stick of deodorant/anti-perspirant close, and if you notice you're stinking you can freshen up. People notice the minutiae!
3. Manners: At the table and with other people be civilized, polite and respectful: keep your elbows off of the table, open doors for people and address everyone-initially, at least-by their formal title. This will make an especially good impression on senior citizens, because you will prove that you aren't one of those "new fangled punks."
4. Speech: Have clean, clear diction and speak sans "like" or "you know." It is important to be articulate because that inspires a feeling of intelligence and education in the person you are meeting with. Always leave out profanity, and whatever you do, make sure to speak loud enough for all to hear, because conversationalists are easily agitated if you force them say "excuse me?" more than a few times.
5. Discretion: Choose what to share about yourself: forget to tell everyone about that time you went camping and ruptured your appendix, then fell face first into a pile of bug infested leaves-it is rude and will alienate you from the group. Try to withhold from conversations on personal subjects like religion or more disgusting topics like personal medical care. Before you speak, think about the possible impact of what you might say, then imagine its implications in the long run.
6. Humor: Humor can be your most powerful tool or your doom, because everyone has a slightly different sense of humor. What might be hilarious to you might seem disgusting to another, or vice versa. Try to withhold from any jokes that aren't family or dinner table friendly; you can tell those later.
7. Start and End with a Bang: Whoever you are meeting with will remember how you greet them, and then in what manner you left them. If you feel you have trouble with this, practice a few different phrases in the mirror, and introduce elements like: "pleased to meet you," or "honored to make your acquaintance." Ignore the antiquity of these phrases; it often makes them more memorable.
Making a good impression will set any relationship off on a good foot. If you are in a situation where you need to be judged at face value-such as a job interview or date-then make sure to go through this list and make sure you are within bounds of reason and good taste on all of your decisions.
Tips for Better Life by Satguru Jaki Vasudev
1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2008.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13.. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22.. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
38. Don’t Cheat who loves a person.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2008.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13.. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22.. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
38. Don’t Cheat who loves a person.
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